Peter Tatchell

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

On Tuesday 27th October 2009, during my second three hour leave a day from the locked women's psychiatric ward, I made my way to the Southwark Town Hall. This was to listen to the 'Unfinished Battle for LGBT [Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans] Human Rights' talk by Peter Tatchell. I enjoyed the talk.

Today I am getting stuck into the book 'Facing LOVE addiction - giving yourself the power to change the way you love by Pia Mellody with Andrea Wells Miller and J. Keith Miller. This book was a gift for me from one of my visitors.

Peter Tatchell

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Tuesday, just gone 27th October 2009, was the second day that I could have three hours leave a day from the acute psychiatric locked women's ward. I chose to wait until the evening and spend the time in Peter Tatchell's company with others at the Southwark Town Hall at 'The Unfinished Battle for LGBT Human Rights' talk which Peter gave.

Chipmunkapublishing

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Today is day two of my six hours a day unescorted leave and day four of having my trifluoperazine (stelazine) reduced to 20mls from 25mls. Then today, joy of all joys, I was sent a contract from Chipmunkapublishing for my Altered Perception diary. This contract will be signed by me on my release from psychiatric hospital.

Before Night Falls

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

I went for my photo shoot with my local Conservative Party yesterday. It went well.

Today at my request, my friend Birgit gave me some reading materials. Samuel Pepys - The Unequalled Self and The Concise Pepys. For good measure Birgit also threw in Reinaldo Arenas memoir Before Night Falls. She knows that I enjoyed myself on a package holiday in Cuba in November 2007 and now I am eager to read this book and see the Before Night Falls film starring Johnny Depp.

Krystal Online Magazine

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Today I got my birthday card from my beloved son laminated. I am so thrilled that I rang and spoke to his social worker about it. After starting to read 'Practising The Power of NOW' by Eckhart Tolle and listening to him on YouTube, Then I read my interview for Krystal http://www.krystalmag.co.uk/ It appeared in the Lifestyle section under the heading Black Mental Health: Never forget that they are there 20/10/2009. I followed this by tuning into [Speaker's Conference] Re: What is the best way to increase the representation of under-represented communities at Westminster? www.parliament.uk Today is also the ward's Black History Month and World Mental Health Day Celebration. Lots of food and drinks and everyone seems to be having a great time.

Hi Mum

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Right now, I am wearing a big cheesy grin. It is because I have just been handed an envelope which contained inside a handmade birthday card from my beloved son. No surprises for guessing that the artwork were aircrafts, seventeen in total, some spitfires. The card had his writing: Hi Mum lots of love James xoo xoox and Happy Birthday!!!

My Beloved Son

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Not one single day goes by, without me thinking about James, my beloved son. Today is no different. It has been too many months since I have spoken to him or seen him. It is one of the most heartbreaking things to happen to a parent like me on a locked psychiatric ward. Just what is happening for my dear son, goodness only knows.

At this time of day, and day of week, my son will be at school. I know that he has started to attend a new school because his social worker told me, when she visited me. I am pleased with the choice of school as when he was younger than one year of age he was christened in the same school. It is a Church of England school and now he will be wearing a school uniform and I have yet to hear what he thinks of this.

I love my son and loved him from before he was born. When he was only five days old following a caesarian section delivery both he and I transferred from St Thomas' Hospital to the Bethlem Royal psychiatric Hospital's Mother and Baby Unit. This was just in case my mental health declined. It didn't. In the Mother and Baby unit my son and I bonded further and he took to his breastfeeding routine of hourly feeds day and night.

On further psychiatric hospital admissions, I wished that I could return to a place like the Mother and Baby unit, where I could go with my son. Just like respite care for HIV/AIDS mothers and their children. Unfortunately this type of facility was not available for mental health patients with children older than babies, so my child was placed in foster care.

Each time the estrangement is evermore traumatic for both him and me. Today as the days pass without my knowing when I will be released and able to take up my supervised contact sessions with him [which will lead to unsupervised contacts] I while away the days googling his image. I post cards to my son, in the meantime but I miss him dreadfully.

Joy

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Great joy, I got my equipment back today. So no more mention of you know who.

Moving swiftly on. I have just received a phone call from my local Conservative Party. I have been invited to a photo shoot possibly this forthcoming Saturday. I have an hour of unescorted leave [which may be increased at the end of this week] so I would be able to attend. In addition to this, during the conversation, the idea was placed in my head that I may have a very slim chance, to be able to be put forward to run, as a possible Councillor for my local Conservative Party. This would be fantastic.

The Love That Dare Not Speak It's Name

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

I have woken up and I am still upset, 'The love that dare not speak it's name' syndrome. I hope that I don't have my equipment confiscated. I will find out later when I speak to my psychiatrist. In the meantime, I am going to see if I can locate Ros Dunning of Dunning & Co Solicitors, in Camberwell.

Disappointment

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

I have just been told that my one hour un-escorted leave has been revoked and I am now on one hour escorted leave due to writing about Carolyn Cowan HUGO in my 'Heavenly' post when mentioning Kundalini Yoga. I am disappointed and feel harrassed by the psychiatric hospital staff.

Heavenly

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

I have just attended a Kundalini Yoga class on my locked psychiatric women's ward. It was heavenly. The class took me back to the first class I attended facilitated by Carolyn Cowan HUGO. I feel so relaxed and at peace. Bliss...

I had overslept and missed breakfast, attended a SLaM BME Black History month at the crypt at St Peters Liverpool Grove London SE17 2HH and sung with the SLaM choir. I followed this by being interviewed on a telephone by the online magazine Krystal www.krystalmag.co.uk who wanted to speak to women who have experience of mental health services.

Happy Birthday 2 Me

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

I am having a great birthday today so far, mainly thanks to friends and my consultant psychiatrist. I went to a ward round yesterday and my consultant -a woman - said that I can have one hour of un-escorted leave each day [that was subject to clearing it with the police] I am also allowed to have my laptop and ipod touch returned to me via same police clearance. I am allowed to have my 30mls of trifluoperazine reduced by five mls to 25mls. All of the aforementioned started today except the medication which started the same day.

So today, I took the bus to my favourite Marks and Spencer to purchase cake for us patients and a few other bits and bobs. I have been making use of my mobile for the first time in months and included in it's use was a long overdue conversation with my dear old long suffering mum. When we got to the part of the conversation when she told me that she didn't know what had happened to me and then she received my prison letter -I laughed. [Sorry] then we both started laughing. It was such a pleasure to hear my mum's voice and she was so pleased to hear from me [busy as she is with her Jehovah's Witness ministry]

I then spoke to various friends, one of which [when I told her what had happened to me] told me that I seem to be a candidate for SLAA Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous - We both laughed for ages. It's so good to reconnect with the outside world.

Letters

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Fw: Please can you publish my diary‏
From: jason pegler (jasonpegler@yahoo.com)
You may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as junk
Sent: 06 October 2009 09:36:56
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
2 attachments | Download all attachments (522.4 KB)
100 word ...doc (20.0 KB), My Daily ...rtf (502.4 KB)


Hi Yvonne, Thank you for your email. I have read your email and will get back to you in the next week or so. Jason Pegler CEO of the social enterprise Chipmunkapublishing www.chipmunkapublishing.com --- On Mon, 5/10/09, Yvonne Stewart-Williams wrote: > From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams > Subject: Please can you publish my diary> To: info@chipmunkapublishing.com> Date: Monday, 5 October, 2009, 2:35 PM> > > > > > Dear Chipmunkapublishing,> > > > I am currently an inpatient on ES3 of SLaM South London and> Maudsley Psychiatric hospital in Denmark hill.This is> following a short spell in HMP Holloway Womens Prison.> > > > Ordinarily, I work in full time paid employment for the> homelessness persons charity Thames Reach as a mental health> floating support worker in Westminster.> > > > I am a black lesbian single mother with a schizoaffective> disorder diagnosis dating from 1993. If you require any> current information about me google Yvonne Stewart-Williams> or e-mail me.> > > > Thanking you in advance> > > > Yvonne Stewart-Williams


Re: Hey There‏
From: lindasma12@aol.com
Sent: 02 October 2009 17:23:39
To: Yvonne Stewart-Williams (yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk)

Thankyou for that I hope you are able to go to a meeting soon x
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:29:13 +0100
To:
Subject: RE: Hey There


Hi dearest Linda,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I don't know how long I am going to be in hosptal. I have been here since 20th August 2009. My line manager and manager are going to physically visit me on Friday 2nd October 2009 and my friend Birgit is going to visit me on Sunday 4th October 2009.

I have my suspicions that I will still be in here for my birthday on 13th October 2009. But hopefully I will be released soon after if not before. I am desparate to get to a meeting.

Much love

Yvonne

RE: What's happening?‏
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams (yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 02 October 2009 18:36:21
To: peter.revesz@thamesreach.org.uk

Hi Peter,

Thank you so much for your e-mail. I really do appreciate you taking time out to write.
I hope that you and yours are all okay.

Me, I am taking time out here in SLaM following a spell in HMP Holloway. What can I say!?! Except that you are probably lucky that you didn't have ME for a blood sister! However, I really miss you and your excellent sense of humour, straight forward logical approach and compassion.

I have just started reading the Eckhart Tolle book 'The Power of NOW' and I am hoping that it is going to clarify things for me. It may seem like quite an odd thing for me to be saying following a prison experience bolted on to time in a psychiatric hospital but, I have never felt so much love in myself as I do now, despite my few down days!
Mind you, I have been visited by Ken and Emma this afternoon and told earlier that I will be getting a phone call from my son via social services.

You never guess what Peter? ES3 ward has asked me to try to contact Frank Bruno to do a talk for mental health day - we a celebrating it here on 21st October. Imagine that? What can I do, when I couldn't even produce Frank for Thames Reach.

Anyway when you find a little time, please work your feel good healing magic and, contact me again.

Give Paris and big hug

Much love

Yvonne



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Peter.Revesz@thamesreach.org.uk
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Fri, 2 Oct 2009 11:36:57 +0100
Subject: What's happening?



Hi Yvonne,
Just a quick one to say how's it hanging?
Long time no hear.
I hope you are ok?
Best wishes,
Peter.

Peter Revesz
Practical Support Worker

Thames Reach
Westminster Mental Health Floating Support Scheme
23-33 Strutton Ground
London SW1P 2HZ

T 020 7084 6832

M 07725 823 905
W www.thamesreach.org.uk





ü Before printing, think about the environment


This message and any attachments has been sent by Thames Reach - decent homes, supportive relationships, fulfilling lives. Thames Reach Housing Association Ltd is an Industrial & Provident Society registered under the Industrial and Provident Societies Act 1965, Register No 24377R and is an exempt charity. This message is intended solely for the addressee(s) and is co


Southwark Mind LGBT project‏
From: Denise McKenna (denise.mckenna1@btopenworld.com)
Sent: 28 September 2009 17:21:51
To: flavio.silva@pacehealth.org.uk
Cc: Yvonne (YvonnePatriciaStewart-Williams@hotmail.co.uk)

Hi Flavio,

We spoke earlier today about an LGBT project/group which users at Southwark Mind are wishing to set up. The idea of the project emerged from a small user/survivor group called the Rainbow Resource which started in a day centre in Southwark a few years ago and which eventually linked up with Southwark Mind although it has been dormant since then, unable to continue without a paid worker.

Southwark Mind is run entirely by users/survivors of mental health services or people who have experienced mental distress although they may never have found themselved in the psychiatric system. All of our paid workers are survivors and we run loads of successful projects, do lots of campaigning work etc. One of our projects is the Southwark Users Council which consists of 14 users/survivors who represent the veiws of other users/survivors in projects throughout the borough, including the in-patient psychiatric wards, to service providers. We also have representatives who sit on the Mental Health Partnership Board for Southwark. The User Council is at the forefront of user involvement on Southwark and is invariably consulted by service providers, however there is no LGBT representative on the User Council and this is one of the things that our new project could address, although the purposes and goals of the project have yet to be decided, this will be up to the potential users of the group and I envisage that mutual support and friendship would be an important feature of the project.

Initially we have identified that we need a development worker to work 2 - 2 1/2 days a week to set up and maintain the project. Although Southwark Mind would be managing the project, for a number of reasons I think we should be looking beyond the mental health survivors community towards the LGBT community to support this project. For one thing any development worker outreaching into places like day centres and psychiatric hospital wards can be subject to some quite nasty homophobia (I know, I've tried it!) and although Southwark Mind has excellent anti homophobic policies I doubt if we are expert in supporting a worker who may have to confront this in their work, and such outreach would be an important part of the worker's role.

The idea is that Southwark Mind would manage the project but we would be interested in making a joint bid for this project with another organisation. Although it would be a Southwark project, I don't envisage that we would be too rigid about who could access it, for example, Southwark Mind has strong links with Lambeth Mind and Lambeth users who migh also want to use the project.

Having given you some background to this project I have two questions to ask: Do you know of any organisatioin, perhaps even Pace, who might be interested in co bidding with us for this project?

My second question is this: Do you know of anyone who can help us put a bid together?

Southwark Mind has limited resources to help with this project at the moment although the Executive Committee, of which I am part, are committed to setting it up. Notwithstanding that, it falls on a few unpaid LGBT users, including myself, to get this project up and running and we could use all the help and support that you could offer us.
We hope to have a focus group, which would be paid for my Southwark Mind (we don't envisage it would cost much) some time in December to establish the need for the project for the purposes of any bid and wonder if you might be able to provide us with any help in setting this up, if only in the form of advice and planning?

We would be very grateful to hear of any support you could give us in setting up this project and any thoughts you might have about it.

Thanks and best wishes
Denise McKenna
Southwark Mind

Johnathan Livingstone Seagull

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

I paused in between reading 'The Power of Now' to watch the film 'Johnathan Livingston Seagull' which I had previously downloaded from itunes, on my ipod classic. I remained in the now and was truly satisfied.

Yesterday produced a catalyst for change which has continued today. Earlier, this fine day, I visited the forces store on Walworth road accompanied by a nurse from the ward and purchased a few items. It was good to be out with everyone else.

Today I again got in touch with deep seated feelings of LOVE and just now the LOVE feelings was experienced by me again. I believe that I am experiencing an advanced enhanced me and LOVE is a key point to my being. It sounds a bit woolie and particularly when I consider that I am on a locked psychiatric ward, and not too long ago I was locked up in HMP Holloway. But it's true.

To be quite frank, it was hard for me to watch 'Johnathan Livingston Seagull', as I felt as if I was with Johnathan on his journey. A bit like one of the 'Outcasts'. I suppose what I am saying is that learning to not develop a fear of the future is going to be very important process for me. I must return to society, but the longer this is delayed the harder it seems. What I am trying to convey in my writing is that the possibility of my becoming institutionalized is an ever present concern in my mind. However, one day at a time, I continue reading the power of now and remembering that I am human and not Yehweh.

Just for today, I am a seagull. Johnathan Livingston Seagull [I hope].

Happy Birthday

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

If my memory serves me correctly, today is the birthday of someone very special to me. May he have many, many, many happy returns

I Feel Fine

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

Today has produced seeds of fruits to yeald beyond my wildest dreams! First of all my psychiatrist told me that I will be having an interview on Tuesday at 4pm for assessment for psychotherapy. Then my son's Social Worker rang me on the ward's patient phone and after telling me all about my son, and me satisfying myself that all is as well with him as could be under the current set of circumstances, she has made an appointment to visit me on Wednesday at 2pm. Then I went into group therapy today and was given the Eckhart Tolle book 'The Power of NOW!' and I have started reading it because I was told, I looked as if I lacked sleep and seemed depressed [surprise, surprise]. Then my managers visited me today and placed a new dawn on a new day. Another good thing is I have been granted two half hour sessions of accompanied leave each day [subject to staff availability] Bad news, still unable to record my podcasts.

'That's What Friends Are For'

Heathen Massive UK, Gospel Dance Music for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Supporter. Feel free to donate to www.aidsmap.com

RE: Hey There‏
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams (yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 28 September 2009 14:29:13
To: lindasma12@aol.com

Hi dearest Linda,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I don't know how long I am going to be in hosptal. I have been here since 20th August 2009. My line manager and manager are going to physically visit me on Friday 2nd October 2009 and my friend Birgit is going to visit me on Sunday 4th October 2009.

I have my suspicions that I will still be in here for my birthday on 13th October 2009. But hopefully I will be released soon after if not before. I am desparate to get to a meeting.

Much love

Yvonne


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Hey There
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 2009 21:15:50 -0400
From: lindasma12@aol.com

im ok thanks


when will you be out of hospital then


-----Original Message-----
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams
To: lindasma12@aol.com
Sent: Thu, Sep 24, 2009 5:24 pm
Subject: Hey There


Hey there sweet Linda,


There you go again in your usual way, rescuing me. Me telling you all about what is happening for me...


How are you? your Dad? Your mum? your Daughter? K'leen?


I am sorry to be so self obsessed and dragging you into all of the drama, chaos and in the end self-pity.


I hope that you know that I love you lots. That you are very special to me and I always want you around me because I respect you and think the world of you! Warts an' all.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
To: lindasma12@aol.com
Subject: FW: Greetings!
Date: Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:34:23 +0100

D earest Linda,


I sincerely hope that I have not frightened you away, with the baby love history.


To be honest, I did try throughout this five years of being in love with Carolyn to find a suitable alternative love interest. For instance, I subscribed to one year of 'Gaydar Girls', and dined out at Fortnum & Mason's' for afternoon tea, with one woman that I had met from that online dating service.


It can appear as if I was dragging my feet over finding a suitable girlfriend, by staying celibate for six years and seem as if I was doing nothing. But, I was and am lovelorn and broken inside and couldn't, can't keep verbalizing it. In a way things had to come to a head for me to find some peace within.


I don't know what my future holds as far as 'Love' is concerned. I just know that I love Carolyn and if she was available, I would be on top of the world. I guess that I am similar to everyone else and would like a monogamous, caring, productive, loving, sexually stimulating, honest, respectful, romantic relationship with a woman built on trust.


I want to cuddle up with that someone special and be hugged by that someone special. I have a reputation for giving the best hugs in NA. Yet I have never even shook hands with Carolyn let alone given her one of my hugs! It's sad really Linda, not that I cry myself to sleep or anything like that, but it is along those lines.


I so want to walk in your footsteps Linda but it's so hard. I know that I won't try hard enough with the wrong woman. I won't accept abuse. I have to love her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: yvonnepa triciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
To: lindasma12@aol.com
Subject: RE: Greetings!
Date: Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:32:40 +0100

Okay Linda, here we go,


To understand how I ended up in prison, I need to take you back just over five years.


I had been in this same psychiatric hospital. Feeling like Urma Thurman in the Tarrantino movie 'Kill Bill' after social services had removed my only beloved biological son James from my full time care. I was assigned Ros Ramsey, a female Consultant Psychiatrist for the first time and after initially not caring one way or another because I was too distraught. I noticed her professionalism and idiosyncratic approach. Developed an unrequited crush and became smitten. By the time I came off my section I was writing to her in prose and poetry. Although I could not remember what colour her eyes were and at this stage in time, I cannot remember what she looks like b ut I still remember her professionalism.


Then, when I got my son back a few months later, and I took him back to his Rudolf Steiner School and met some new parents. One of which was Carolyn Cowan [HUGO] She introduced herself to me. I didn't think anything of it especially as I could not remember her christian name! and kept calling her Caroline. Carolyn offered to give my son and myself lifts to school on the school runs, invited me to her home for meals with her husband, family and friends, and events. I purchased her DVD's and goods from her online stores and her shop and my son played with her two children Louis HUGO and Isadora HUGO and I took her son Louis out on excursions with my son James.


After dining with Carolyn, I emailed her and told her that I adored her. Carolyn explained that she felt my actions were harassment. That news was relayed through my son's school to my psychiatrist & Mental Health Social Worker and I was spoken to about it. Carolyn distanced herself and then things resumed as per us ual but I was then hospitalised again in this psychiatric hospital.


This time I did not get my son back and I was not allowed to return to his school. But I continued to pay my son's school fees.


When I went into recovery I placed Carolyn on my step four but by the time it came to it I knew I did not want to make amends and contacted her again. I started buying things again from her shop and buying things and sending them to her ie flowers, e-mails, texts, cards... Then one day I rang to make a work related suggestion and she answered the phone and told me for the second time that she felt my actions were harassment.


I went to her shop, she called the police I was arrested and a form for harassment notice was served. I returned to her shop two days later having warne d Carolyn I would break the notice and was again arrested. Spent the night in a police cell. Went to court the next morning and could tell the judge that I would stay away from Carolyn and went to prison. remained on remand and was sent back here again to this psychiatric hospital. Unrepentant, Unremorseful with no regrets.


Thats about it.


Much love


Yvonne









--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Greetings!
Date: Thu, 17 Sep 2009 23:23:20 -0400
From: lindasma12@aol.com

hi there a
so why dont you fill me in in the email let me know what has happened to you write like a baby life story
how did you end up in a jail


lots of love to you


-----Original Message-----
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams
To: lindasma12@aol.com
Sent: Thu, Sep 17, 2009 6:22 pm
Subject: RE: Greetings!


Dearest Linda,


Lovely to hear from you. Fabulous news that you are abroad. Hopefully with plenty of sun.


I truly am sorry that I worried you. I feel better now that I have made contact with you. I visualize you and I feel reassured that one day at a time, things will work out.


Thank you for being you.


Much love


Yvonne





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@ hotmail.co.uk
Subject: Re: Greetings!
Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2009 08:12:09 -0400
From: lindasma12@aol.com


hi there got your message but oiut of the country will call you when back in two weeks but you can email me pleased you are ok as i was worrioed about you




much love linda s

0A-----Original Message-----
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams
To: lindasma12@aol.com
Sent: Tue, Sep 15, 2009 4:40 am
Subject: Greetings!


Hi Linda,


Are you okay?


Got over the shock of me yet?


Much love


Yvonne oxo

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS‏
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams (yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 28 September 2009 14:33:39
To: Ken Todd-Earlam (ken.todd-earlam@thamesreach.org.uk)

Hi Ken,

Thank you for your e-mail.

Yes, please inform my colleagues where I am. I would like that. Thank you for asking.

Kindest regards

Yvonne


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ken.Todd-Earlam@thamesreach.org.uk
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 09:35:34 +0100
Subject: RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS



Hi Yvonne,
Thanks for this.

I have given your regards to your colleagues -- what I have not done is informed them of your current whereabouts. Is this okay to do?

See you Friday.

Best wishes,
Ken.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams [mailto:yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 26 September 2009 16:08
To: Ken Todd-Earlam
Subject: RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS


Hi Ken,

It's great to hear from you.

I am looking forward to your visit with Emma this forthcoming Friday. Fantastic!

I think I have the office keys attached to my personal keys in the patients safe, on the ward, here at the hospital.

My work phone is at my abode. I am happy for you and Emma to visit my home and collect it for the seconded worker.

Have a Great week and see you both on Friday. Regards to all my other colleagues.

Kindest regards

Yvonne


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ken.Todd-Earlam@thamesreach.org.uk
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
CC: Mike.Archell-Green@thamesreach.org.uk
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:03:43 +0100
Subject: RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS



Hello Yvonne,

Hope this finds you well.

I am sorry I missed your two p[hone calls. Good to hear that you are feeling in a good space.

I plan to visit you on Friday October 2nd. between 2pm & 5pm.
If possible, I need to get your work phone and office keys as we currently have a short-term secondment filling your post.

I plan to bring Emma along with me.

I hope this is okay with you.

Pleasae let me know if you will not be available for as visit during that time.

Best wishes,

Ken.





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From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams [mailto:yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 09 September 2009 17:59
To: Ken Todd-Earlam
Subject: RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS


Ken,


Apologies. Es3 ward visiting hours are:


Mornings - 10:00 - 11.30


Afternoon - 14:00 - 17:00


Evenings - 18:30 - 20:00


Kindest regards


Yvonne


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ken.Todd-Earlam@thamesreach.org.uk
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 2009 15:03:16 +0100
Subject: RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS



Thanks Yvonne,

I will check when I am able to visit, and let you know.

Best wishes,

Ken.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams [mailto:yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 07 September 2009 14:57
To: Ken Todd-Earlam
Subject: RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS


Hi Ken,


The visiting hours are 15:00 to 20:00


Kindest regards


Yvonne





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ken.Todd-Earlam@thamesreach.org.uk
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Mon, 7 Sep 2009 10:29:50 +0100
Subject: RE: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS


Hi Yvonne,

Good to hear from you and to know that you are eating / sleeping well.

What are the visiting hours there?

Cheers,
Ken.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams [mailto:yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 05 September 2009 17:01
To: Ken Todd-Earlam
Subject: FW: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS


P.s


Ken,


When you visit, please could bring me some DVD with a Gay Theme genre?


Thanking you in advance


Yvonne


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
To: ken.todd-earlam@thamesreach.org.uk
Subject: Re: YVONNE STEWART-WILLIAMS
Date: Sat, 5 Sep 2009 14:38:30 +0100

Dear Ken,


Thank you for your letter dated 1st September 2009, with enclosed stamped addressed envelope.


I was transferred to ES3- Elleen Skellen Three Women only, single roomed locked Ward from HMP- Her Majesty's Prison Holloway Women's prison on Thursday 20th August 2009, via a court Section 37 [S37]. Now I am just a Maudsley hospital inpatient.
My trifluoperazine [Stelazine] anti-psychotic sugar-free oral liquid medication has been increased twice since my arrival and by the time you read this letter, it will have been increased to 25mls at night.



It may come as no surprise, when I say I am sleeping soundly and eating very well. Although I am missing my M&S- Marks & Spencer Bacon, sandwich. lemon cheesecake. Pomegranate juice and Assorted licorice sweets. Aside from this I am fit and well. I have been able to use the ward's IT suite and I am well looked after. I am able to use my Apple MacBook laptop and my ipod touch and classic. I have not seen my son or heard from him via Lambeth's Children's Looked After Team for almost four months. I have no idea what his school education arrangements are... I trust that he will not experience bullying or peer group pressure due to my Ex prisoner / Ex Offender's status.


Regarding my cherished card which I received from my colleagues, THANK YOU. Please forward my e-mail address so that they can correspond with me from work. That would make my day. I know they are busy, so what ever they can write would be respected.


I look forward to your visit. Choose a time which can accommodate your outlook calendar.


Kindest regards


Scotty













FW: Southwark Mind LGBT project‏
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams (yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 28 September 2009 14:40:38
To: denise.mckenna1@btopenworld.com

Dear Denise,

Hope all is well with you.

Thank you for cc'ing me into this e-mail. I am very interested in your proposal and will do everything that I can to help.

It was great to see you again. As I said when I saw you, stay in touch.

Much love

Yvonne


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:09:40 +0000
From: denise.mckenna1@btopenworld.com
Subject: Southwark Mind LGBT project
To: dax.ashworth@southwark.gov.uk
CC: YvonnePatriciaStewart-Williams@hotmail.co.uk

HI Dax,
I'm sure you remember the Rainbow Resource which was a small LGBT group for people in Southwark who use mental health services or experience mental distresss. The group was run by its users. For a number of reasons we were unable to keep it going but not before it became a Southwak Mind project where it has remained dormant. We now want to rekindle it, (although with a different name, we're presently referring to it as the LGBT project until we've found a new name!) We have decided that such a project can't function without a paid development worker and we think they would need to work 2 - 2 1/2 days a week. I don't know what you know about Southwark Mind but it's run entirely by survivors/users of the psychiatric system or people who experience mental distress but have never been in the system. All our paid workers are survivors and we run loads of successful projects, do lots of campaigning work etc. One of our projects is the Southwark User Council. This consists of 14 users who represent other users in various projects including psychiatric in-patient wards and we have representatives on the Southwark Mental Health Partnership Board. The User council is at the forefront of user involvement in Southwark and is invariably consulted by service providers. However, there is no LGBT rep on the User Council. This is an example of one of the things we want to address but can't do so until we've got our group up and running.

Although Southwark Mind would manage the project, for all sorts of reasons I think we should be looking beyond the mental health survivors community towards the LGBT community to support this project. For one thing any development worker outreaching into places like day centres and hospitals can be subject to some nasty homophobia (I know, I've tried it) and outreach work would be a large part of the developemnt worker's role. As such it might be helpful if the worker was supported by more than one organisation. (Southwark Mind are not experts in dealing with homophobia and LGBT community input would be helpful). People with mental health problems can feel excluded from mainstream communities and I'm afraid that can even include the LGBT community. Who knows, the activities of the group could even include mental health awareness within the LGBT community.

Phew! So that's story. The questions are these: Do you know any organisation that might be interested in puting in a joint bid with Southwark Mind for this project? We plan to set up a Focus Group to demonstrate the need for such a project for the purposes of puting in a bid. Hopefully the focus group will be in Decmeber - S Mind would fund the focus group. Do you know of anyone who might want to be involved in helping us with this? Can you think of anyone in the LGBT community who might be interested in helping out with setting up this project? They needn't be professionals in any way, just someone with time on their hands who might want to help out. All of us LGBT survivors can be a bit fragile at times and this has slowed us down in getting this project off the ground and S Mind workers are currently tied up with funding and other issues relating to existing projects but recognise that an LGBT project is desparately needed. We could use all the help we can get.

Best wishes
Denise McKenna
Southwak MInd


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RE: Peacjavascript:;e One Day‏
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams (yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 01 October 2009 10:20:51
To: Birgit Rapp (hildegund39@hotmail.com)

Hi dearest Birgit,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I enjoyed talking to you on Sunday. I hope that your leg is a bit better. I look forward to seeing you on Sunday.

Much love

Yvonne

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: hildegund39@hotmail.com
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Peacjavascript:;e One Day
Date: Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:09:00 +0000

Hi Yvonne,

It was so lovely to talk to you over the phone on Sunday.

I am looking forward to visiting you this coming Sunday - I will be there at 2pm - can't wait to see you.

Sorry for the rushed e-mail - my internet at home is still not working and I am leaving work now...
just a quick Hello and see you very soon.

Lots of love and strength


Birgit 21
Sept For Peace Day on 21 September...
I will tell everyone about peace one day and celebrate at the royal albert hall on 21 september What will you do? Visit www.peaceoneday.org





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk
To: hildegund39@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Peacjavascript:;e One Day
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:12:38 +0100

Hi Birgit,

Thank you for your e-mail.

Great News. My boss Ken and Emma, my line manager are going to visit me on Friday 2nd October 2009. Between 2pm-5pm.

I look forward to hearing from you via telephone on Sunday.

Lots of love

Yvonne


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RE: One Day At A Time‏
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams (yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk)
Sent: 01 October 2009 14:19:46
To: Nicole Veash (nicole.veash@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk)

Hi Nicole,

I am truly pleased that you are thrilled with my honest assessment of your coaching style.

Just letting you know, I have seen the psychiatrists and ,the answer sadly is No to my being released before my birthday. Oh well, can't get everything I want when I want it.

I look forward to hearing from you again, when you find some moments to spare.

Kindest regards

Yvonne


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: RE: One Day At A Time
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 2009 13:53:43 +0100
From: Nicole.Veash@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk


Hi Yvonne



Thanks so much for your response. I am really thrilled by what you have written and so pleased that my coaching style has worked for you.



I will pass your contact details on to Radar.



I will fill you in on the dissertation another time – slightly weighed under with work right now! Remind me if I forget.



I am going to send you good thoughts and hope you will be out well before your birthday. I don’t practise Buddhism, but I find their philosophy and approach to life very generative. Meditation is very helpful too. Calming and gives me a sense of space.



Let me know what happens won’t you.



Thank you so much again



Nicole



Nicole Veash

Home Office

Reform Team

Strategy and Reform Directorate

0207 035 6751

nicole.veash@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk



-----Original Message-----
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams [mailto:yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 01 October 2009 11:35 AM
To: Veash Nicole
Subject: RE: One Day At A Time



Dear Nicole,

Thank you for your e-mail.

It is lovely to hear from you. I think that it is fantastic to hear you using buddhist philosophy as a way forward for positive healing. I am also pleased that you are into trees and can appreciate their soothing qualities.

As for mental health, I am tiring of the institutionalisation and could personally do with practicing a bit of buddhism myself as, It is my birthday on the 13th of this month and I would like to have been released before then. My managers from my Thames Reach employers are physically visiting me tomorrow afternoon and I am hoping to see my psychiatrist today.

In addition thank you for your short conscise explanation of your dissertation. After a very brief contemplation, I have decided to accept your invitation of a more generous helping. To be honest, to me the topic of your dissertation is so YOU: Communication, Clarification and Appropriate Effective Explanation and Execution. In corporate settings. To be quite frank it takes me back to your effective Radar coaching.

Which was, Outstanding because:

You were - Appropriate. Punctual. Prepared. Flexible. Professional. Compassionate. Intelligent. Resourceful. Honest.

You were a hard task master, but I was always sure that I was the centre of your focus. You allowed me to locate and concentrate my mind on the task in hand, and that was to achieve the maximum within that time we spent together, with far reaching effective consequences.

You had the superior quality of being able to unearth skills in me that I had hidden under a bushel and forgotten. You sowed new seeds in my mind and showed me how to nurture and grow them. You inspired confidence and produced the correct balance between 'carrot and stick'. You were NO nanny. You inspired results, you conveyed this and got them.

You have a great sense of humour and your appearence is easy on the eye.

Nicole the aforementioned is a synopsis of your attributes as a Radar coach. I am happy to write more, but I don't want people to think that you are bribing me.

Write again when you can find some time

Kindest regards

Yvonne

P.s you can inform Radar of my current e-mail address.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: One Day At A Time
Date: Thu, 1 Oct 2009 09:15:06 +0100
From: Nicole.Veash@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk
To: yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk

Dear Yvonne



It is good to hear from you again. Yes I have been taking things slowly, in fact I have rather enjoyed and embraced being more tortoise like. In a Buddhist way it is a much calmer existence than being hare-brained all the time!



I’m so pleased that you are being well treated. I hear difficult things about mental health service so I am pleased that you are being treated humanely and with respect and dignity. I love trees and am not averse to the odd tree stroking!



My dissertation is on dialogue in organisations. It sounds a bit rarefied but it isn’t really. It is about how we can have those peak moments of connection with people in the workplace, what happens when we do and how we might have more of these experiences.



Will tell you more about it if you are interested.



Also, can I please ask a favour. Radar has asked me to get some coaching client feedback. Would you be able to send me a few paragraphs on email? I would be really grateful.



Keep me posted with news



Kind regards



Nicole



Nicole Veash

Home Office

Reform Team

Strategy and Reform Directorate

0207 035 6751

nicole.veash@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk



-----Original Message-----
From: Yvonne Stewart-Williams [mailto:yvonnepatriciastewart-williams@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 17 September 2009 6:59 PM
To: Veash Nicole
Subject: One Day At A Time



Dear Nicole,



It truly is a joy to hear from you. Thank You.



I am over-the-moon with the great results you expressed from your operation. I sincerely trust that you will listen to your body and take things as slow as you need to.



Then of course there is your masters dissertation. Looks, body and brains. Hmmm Seems to be a rare combination in the women of modernity. As such your type is sssscarce, and a welcomed breath of fresh air. When you feel up to it do let me know what your dissertation was on. I am most interested. Besides it is going to be fun watching you try to keep your composure, whilst I sort and locate your explanation out from the fogginess of my anti-psychotic medication and inexperience.



How indeed is the NHS treating me? With the best Health Service in the World, free at the point of delivery for Nationals, I am truly satisfied. To suggest anything less would indeed be self pitying. In fact today, I went for a change of air out in the enclosed garden with the smokers [although I am Not a smoker]. It almost turned into a tree hugging experience,[my choice].



I trust that you and yours, like me and mine are in great shape.



Stay in touch



Fond regards



Yvonne